Oh my...

[ximeria]

you know how you read a fic and it's... sort of okay? Then you get to the sex scene and it has you in stitches because of sentences such as:

Coating his fingers, his mouth returns to kiss wetly at the edges of the quivering hole;
and
his cock is home, the satiny walls clenching around him,

O.o

All of the sudden, I don't feel so bad about writing crack-fic with Merlin in a dress for nicci_mac...

ETA: please don't see this as anything but one of my odd little quirks. It may be it's just too close to old fashioned bodice rippers/purple prose romance novels and those give me the giggle fits -- it might just be the instant connection my mind makes that destroys my ability to read a story containing such lines.

ETA2: Yes, I used to READ bodice rippers, which is why my brain refuses to NOT make the connection.

Comments

[ladyflowdi.livejournal.com]

Awee, don't think too badly of her. She's a great writer, and some of her other Merlin stuff is too hot for words. I think she's writing Big Bang, and this was her "write something else or expire" fic.

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

Still, someone should tell her it's not the best prose... heck, I think I got somewhere near it at one point and my beta reader nearly hurt herself laughing. Which is okay, because I learned my lesson....

It's just... I cringe at this the way I cringe at the mention of a 'throbbing member' -- to me it's just too purple prose -- especially in an otherwise okay piece of fanfic. It just completely throws me out of the story.

[zooz.livejournal.com]

oh no no no no no.....!!!*run away*

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's entertainment *grins*
Always reminds me of the romance novels you used to find on the shelves in the kiosks. You know the sort with the 'painted' cover, man standing over woman, who is throwing herself at his feet, her bodice ripped, skirt torn?

[zooz.livejournal.com]

Yeah I know what you mean. It just made we giggle like crazy.

Oh dear god yes....erotic novels...one word....Fabio

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

*laughs so hard the coffee goes up the nose*

THAT's the name I couldn't remember. FABIO. Yes. And more than one of those, especially if you dip into the sci-fi versions of bodice rippers, were done by Boris Vallejo, whose scantily clad woman and men have always been one of my guilty pleasures.

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

*runs away laughing*

[zooz.livejournal.com]

OMG...yes....and look look Oprah Winfrey....*falls off chair laughing*

[cc-weasel.livejournal.com]

*giggles* What I wonder is why is Fabio guy trying to boink her shoulder-blade?

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

Ah, I think we've all written porn that would sound pretty silly just on its own - at least, I'm sure I have! Trouble is, we're all so very different in what turns us on and what makes us laugh - one person's hot fic is another's comedy, and vice versa!

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

I know, it's just too close to purple prose for me to take it seriously, so it throws me out of story and it's hard to get back into the story.

[nicci-mac.livejournal.com]

I read that one earlier. I quite liked it though.

So how IS the Merlin in a dress fic coming along? And are we still going with the title 'The things we do for love'

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

I can't read stuff like that anymore. I keep expecting one of the lines to include the term 'throbbing member'. It completely throws me out of a story.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

it made me cringe more than giggle...

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

Certainly not the best mental images I've ever come away from a fic with ...

[darklock.livejournal.com]

Bwah! Hey... my badfic writing has taken over another scene. :-P

I have read other stories that are wonderful until they get to the sex scene. Sometimes, I'd love to be able to pick and choose authors to write certain scenes. :-)

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

Heheheh, well you did share SGA fic earlier, didn't you? *g*

[logovo1.livejournal.com]

Coating his fingers, his mouth returns to kiss wetly at the edges of the quivering hole

I giggled! But come on! Quivering hole!

[ximeria.livejournal.com]

Hehehehehe, I know. It does not give me a pleasant and definitely NOT a sexy mental picture...

[kitzen-kat.livejournal.com]

Like a ripe Johanna Lindsay novel except purplier.

[wadjet-theperv.livejournal.com]

Stop it!!! It hurts me to laugh ;oP