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Firefly Pimpage - River Tam
And today's candidate for the insane aslylum: Ms. River Tam:
"You know, you ain't quite right."
"It's the popular theory."
Short Backgroundstory:
River is Simon's sister and extremely intelligent. She can learn most anything in no time. At the age of about 14, she's sent to a government learning facility, where her family believes that her high learning skills are being nurtured. In reality, the place is a mere cover for a secret government lab where they're trying to create the perfect assassin. Simon mentions that she's had neural stripping, so the part of her mind that should be able to push things, feelings etc aside, doesn't work that way. On top of it all, she's got a constantly developing ability to read minds. All in all she seems completely crazy and unpredictable, at least when Simon doesn't have her under heavy meds.
The WHY:
She's insane. She's well excused, after what the Alliance did to her in that lab, but she is unpredictable at best. She also tends to sprout complete and utter nonsense, quite often some really odd fact or trying to explain the unexplainable. And because she's like that, I can't help but like the character LOL. She tends to baffle the crew, but I love that Mal tries to make the best of it, and she fits so oddly well into his rag-tag crew anyway *g* Also, she comes across as a raving lunatic sometimes, and she still manages to make sense... scary, huh?
The Quotes:
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
Jayne: "Well, Jayne ain'ta girl! If she starts in on that girl's name thing, I'll show her good and all I got man parts..."
Simon: "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just - It's not coming."
[Trash]
River: "Permission to come aboard?"
Mal: "You know, you ain't quite right."
River: "It's the popular theory."
Mal: "Get on in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan."
River: (going down inside) "He takes so much looking after..."
[Objects in Space]
Mal: "Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed. Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't."
River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Mal: "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."
[Safe]
River: "Noah's Ark is a problem."
Book: "Really."
River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon -- Only way to fit five-thousand species of mammal on the same boat."
[Jaynestown]
The icon bases:
To do with as you like *g* but feel free to use them for posting here so I can see the outcome *g*
The Pretties!:
1 frozen sister...
[Serenity - The Pilot]
River's not too fond of meds...
[Serenity - The Pilot]
Just the first view of many of Simon's devotion to his sister.
[Serenity - The Pilot]
River watches the locals dancing and after a moment she's figured the steps out and is joining the fun *g*
[Safe]
Mal: "Y'all see the man hangin' out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. But it was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come. Man is lookin to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should be worry about thwarting."
[Safe]
River sticks her head out, checks, grabs the gun and shoots them all, one by one. Scary...
[War Stories]
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
Jayne: "Well, Jayne ain'ta girl! If she starts in on that girl's name thing, I'll show her good and all I got man parts..."
Simon: "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just - It's not coming."
God, I love how she smirks LOL
[Trash]
River: "My food is troublesome."
Jayne: "Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't figure out how to eat an ice-planet."
[The Message]
There's gotta be easier ways of eavesdropping...
[Objects in Space]
River: "Permission to come aboard?"
Mal: "You know, you ain't quite right."
River: "It's the popular theory."
Mal: "Get on in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan."
River: (going down inside) "He takes so much looking after..."
[Objects in Space]
Kaylee: "And then his folks come by to fetch him, and it turns out he's fourteen years old!" (they both laugh) "I mean, he must have been some kind of genetic experiment, 'cause I swear he was... my daddy whupped me so hard..."
I just love how they give us happyRiver in the end and give Kaylee a chance to forget what the bounty hunter put her through.
River Tam
"You know, you ain't quite right."
"It's the popular theory."
Short Backgroundstory:
River is Simon's sister and extremely intelligent. She can learn most anything in no time. At the age of about 14, she's sent to a government learning facility, where her family believes that her high learning skills are being nurtured. In reality, the place is a mere cover for a secret government lab where they're trying to create the perfect assassin. Simon mentions that she's had neural stripping, so the part of her mind that should be able to push things, feelings etc aside, doesn't work that way. On top of it all, she's got a constantly developing ability to read minds. All in all she seems completely crazy and unpredictable, at least when Simon doesn't have her under heavy meds.
The WHY:
She's insane. She's well excused, after what the Alliance did to her in that lab, but she is unpredictable at best. She also tends to sprout complete and utter nonsense, quite often some really odd fact or trying to explain the unexplainable. And because she's like that, I can't help but like the character LOL. She tends to baffle the crew, but I love that Mal tries to make the best of it, and she fits so oddly well into his rag-tag crew anyway *g* Also, she comes across as a raving lunatic sometimes, and she still manages to make sense... scary, huh?
The Quotes:
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
Jayne: "Well, Jayne ain'ta girl! If she starts in on that girl's name thing, I'll show her good and all I got man parts..."
Simon: "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just - It's not coming."
[Trash]
River: "Permission to come aboard?"
Mal: "You know, you ain't quite right."
River: "It's the popular theory."
Mal: "Get on in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan."
River: (going down inside) "He takes so much looking after..."
[Objects in Space]
Mal: "Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed. Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't."
River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Mal: "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."
[Safe]
River: "Noah's Ark is a problem."
Book: "Really."
River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon -- Only way to fit five-thousand species of mammal on the same boat."
[Jaynestown]
The icon bases:
To do with as you like *g* but feel free to use them for posting here so I can see the outcome *g*
The Pretties!:
1 frozen sister...
[Serenity - The Pilot]
River's not too fond of meds...
[Serenity - The Pilot]
Just the first view of many of Simon's devotion to his sister.
[Serenity - The Pilot]
River watches the locals dancing and after a moment she's figured the steps out and is joining the fun *g*
[Safe]
Mal: "Y'all see the man hangin' out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. But it was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come. Man is lookin to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should be worry about thwarting."
[Safe]
River sticks her head out, checks, grabs the gun and shoots them all, one by one. Scary...
[War Stories]
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
Jayne: "Well, Jayne ain'ta girl! If she starts in on that girl's name thing, I'll show her good and all I got man parts..."
Simon: "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just - It's not coming."
God, I love how she smirks LOL
[Trash]
River: "My food is troublesome."
Jayne: "Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't figure out how to eat an ice-planet."
[The Message]
There's gotta be easier ways of eavesdropping...
[Objects in Space]
River: "Permission to come aboard?"
Mal: "You know, you ain't quite right."
River: "It's the popular theory."
Mal: "Get on in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan."
River: (going down inside) "He takes so much looking after..."
[Objects in Space]
Kaylee: "And then his folks come by to fetch him, and it turns out he's fourteen years old!" (they both laugh) "I mean, he must have been some kind of genetic experiment, 'cause I swear he was... my daddy whupped me so hard..."
I just love how they give us happyRiver in the end and give Kaylee a chance to forget what the bounty hunter put her through.
no subject
Zoe: "River? Come out, honey!"
River: "Can't. Too much hair."
Zoe: "He's putting the hair away now..."
River: "It will still be there. Waiting."
River (to Jayne): "Also? I can kill you with my brain."
One comment though: you called her "Simon's brother" in the intro. Not even she can manage that :D
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Thakns for the heads up *g* - I was rewording simon being her brother and ended up with a hybrid sentence LOL
And yes, she got some of the best line *g*
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River: "Can't. Too much hair."
Zoe: "He's putting the hair away now..."
River: "It will still be there. Waiting."
bwahaha, yeah, river's the best :) i also love the scene where she kills with her eyes shut.
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I've been writing and editing fic all day, so I have a couple recommendations. ::can't stop self::
Safe:
Mal: "Cut her down."
Villager: "The girl is a witch."
Mal: "Yeah, but she's our witch-" *cocks gun, points it at him* "-so cut her the hell down."
War Stories
She shot them *with her eyes closed*.
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
Kaylee: *is freaked out*
I think the quote under the 'Trash' cap should start earlier. With Simon's part of the quote it shifts the focus from River to Simon.
River: "She's a liar and no good will come of her."
Jayne: "Well, I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted."
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
no subject
I know, the latter one. I needed to look it up to get it right and the first three places I went to only had those lines, so I kinda forgot about it *g*
And more good River quotes are always welcome ^_^